I’m recovering from a wicked case of Comparitis!
You know what that is right?
It’s that miserable feeling you get when you look around at everyone else’s stuff and feel inadequate. It’s the midnight trolling you do on your competitors website and social media to find out what they’re doing and how come they look so amazing. It’s the uttter failure you feel when you don’t blow glitter out of your butt like everyone else in the wedding industry. It’s the little fear of failure that tells you you’re not good enough… and you should stop trying.
I wanted to tell you a story of Compariits. My own story.
When I started this business as a Virtual Assistant I had no idea what I was capable of. Only that I knew I could help wedding businesses grow and that I had the skills to help them. I really just wanted to be able to pay the bills. That’s the only expectations I had.
I began to build a platform purely based on the idea that I had something to share and that I needed to be awesome to pay the bills. What I soon realized is that I had SO much more to offer than I had given myself credit for. And people were noticing. My platform and my business were growing to a place I had never expected.
So much so, that I decided to do some changing and growing into the real business that I actually wanted. I created The Living Blueprint for Wedding Business Success and began the process of morphing my business.
And then… I showed what I had done to other people. My mastermind that is.
They are a group of fabulous professionals who are incredible, talented, and brilliant. They are all educators to the wedding industry and have been a mighty influence in the growth of my business. I respect them and want to impress them. So I prepared for my “hot seat” session big time. I thought I was on the right track. I was ready… and then… wham.
THEY DESTROYED ME. In love… but regardless…
“You know I do this too.”
“There’s someone who does something kinda similar. Have you looked at this website?”
“Are you sure you want to use that name? I mean these other people do this different thing that has the same name.”
“What are you actually selling?”
They were right in a lot of ways. My concept wasn’t developed enough for prime time. I DID need to look deeper into what I was doing.
But in that moment, I felt like the wind was removed from my sails.
I started spending time and mental energy studying other people’s platforms. I was looking for how to be DIFFERENT. Trying to figure out why what I was saying was more valuable. Looking for ways to prove myself in the market or to be useful.
The problem is… the more I looked at what other people were doing the more I hated what I was doing! I wasn’t trying to be LIKE them — I was sure I had to be DIFFERENT from them.
I created The Living Blueprint as a result of my own personal convictions about running a business. It was DIFFERENT. Everything I’m doing is different… it didn’t exist before I created it. It can’t be the same as someone else’s because they are not me! What was I thinking? What was I looking for?
So late this last Friday evening I sat scrolling. That sick scrolling you do trying to find something that makes you feel like you’re on the right track or that you’re doing something SO MUCH better. Anything that makes you feel ok about yourself and your progress!! #amiright
But what I actually found was another educator using my word. As if people own words. But those were my words! I needed those words! I need them to be DIFFERENT. And I thought I had them first!!!! I was angry. I was defeated.
I was sure I was going to fail. I should just go ahead and give up now. This isn’t going anywhere.
I should just crawl back into my corner and not try to be or do something more. I wasn’t enough. I didn’t have anything more valuable or more different-er to add to the conversation.
Let’s talk about real life though. I am steadily booking clients. I have been tracking record revenue months. I launched The Living Blueprint and it sold. And my platform is continuing to grow. Nothing was wrong with what I had created. Something was wrong with me…
And here’s what happened while I was in the middle of comparitis…. I only hurt me! My marketing was uninspired. I tried things that weren’t authentic to what I really believe. I wasn’t giving light or energy to anyone. The engagement on my posts began to dwindle and that just confirmed my feelings of failure.
Comparitis was killing me! Literally!
So after that Friday night scroll session from hell, I went to bed scowling at myself, at my business, at life. I was angry.
I was about to majorly fail! I was going to flop!
If you were one of my clients in real life you might actually be surprised to be reading this. Because I’m always the Dr. Phil in the situation. I’m never afraid to say… “How’s that workin’ for ya?” I’ve told everyone to stay in their own lane and not look at the people driving by. I’ve even advised clients to invite their competitors over or to send them the products they wanted to buy so they could have them… your competition cannot be you.
So it’s pretty hard to believe I had my own case of Comparitis.
But I woke up Saturday morning and I looked at my husband and said, “I figured out my problem!” It’s not unusual for me to have epiphany’s like this in my sleep. So he played along.
“I know what’s been wrong with me! I stopped just being me. I took off my blinders and started feeling like my voice didn’t matter. I stopped sharing myself.”
It was like a huge weight had lifted off of me. I knew what I was doing wrong and I knew how I was going to fix it.
So Sunday I spent the day re-writing my journal. I literally pulled a brand new journal out and started fresh. I wiped the slate clean. I planned for the future. The future of ME.
I wrote my own rules. I owned my own words. I found me again!
I finally kicked COMPARITIS.
From here forward I promise to remember who I am. To remember that what I have to say is valuable! And… to be me. All kinds of me…
COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY!!! No website, no person across the country behind a keyboard, no fb live video, or stolen word is going to STEAL MY JOY! No way!
I control my joy! I control my scroll finger. I control how I feel when I look. I control it!
And I am ENOUGH! Failure only happens if I believe it. And I choose not to fail! I choose JOY!
That is how you cure a mean case of comparitis!