Using “You Win” Language

You’ve probably already heard the advice that when using copy on your website or online you should focus the words on the reader. This is the perfect time for some examples.

Option 1:

We provide a high tech, fully automated approach to the planning steps of your wedding.

Option 2:

You’ll have high tech access to our staff with an automated system that keeps you in the drivers seat and allows us to collaborate during the planning process of your wedding.

Which one did you want to buy?

Option 1:

We bake the finest cupcakes from our Grandma’s famous secret recipe.

Option 2:

You’ll remember the hand baked tastes and smells of Grandma’s kitchen the second you bite into your delicious cupcake.

Now you want cupcakes, I know! But… do you get my point?

“You win” language allows you to take something that’s generally about you and flip the script to make it about the client. To make them feel connected with the experience they are going to have when working with you. Or tasting your amazing cupcakes.

In other words… IT ISN’T ABOUT YOU!

I know… you’re the hottest DJ in town. You know your flowers are the prettiest! Or you’re the most qualified planner in town! Yes yes… we hear you! But guess what… people don’t want to talk about YOU! They want to talk about themselves.

The most successful sales people don’t ask for a sale until the person they’re selling to asks to hear about it.

They spend the entire time listening to the client share about what they need. Create a relationship. Commiserate with the client and then tell them how their services fix the problem.

“You Win” language is simply flipping the coin to talk about the clients feelings, needs, and problems. You focus on what they might see, feel, touch, or experience when working with you. They win every time. They are the center of the conversation. They get the spotlight… not your years of experience or portfolio of work.

SO… how do we do this.

Go Directly Right Now Without Passing Go to Your Website

Scan your website for the words US, I, WE, and YOUR BUSINESS NAME. Tally them up.

Now add up the words, YOU, YOURS. Tally those up.

Who wins?

If you’re website focuses mainly on the US, I, WE side then look at those sentences carefully.


Flip the Script 

How can you take your US, I, WE sentences and turn them into “You Win” Statements. How can you create a you win website that answers the problems and questions of your potential clients.

Consider the feeling or emotions that might be affecting the buying experience. If you don’t know… ask! Talk to some of your former clients and find out what was going on with them when they hired you.

Most of the time a client will say “I hired you because we had a connection. I felt at ease.”

You connected with them in a way that made them feel like they won! They were going to get everything they wanted for a value based offer.


Look at Your Meeting Language

How you talk to your potential clients during your initial consults is incredibly important to your overall success.

Most of the time we think that we have to prove our worth during those meetings. Explain why we’re the coolest, bestest, shiniest choice and that they should throw their money at you RIGHT NOW!

But the opposite is really true.

Your job is to listen! Talk less and listen more.

But…. WHAT? That makes no sense… (I can hear you through my computer). You’re thinking… they came to me to learn about me.


They came to you to get their problem solved. To be heard. To be be validated. To be helped. NOT to be sold to.

They came to you to fix something. And simply put… they need you to listen to what’s broken… not tell them all the package options you offer.

What does this do? Maybe it narrows down what you sell… GASP! Yes I said it. Maybe you don’t sell Bride Betty on your biggest package. If you were listening she told you can’t afford it… or that she wants the elegant feeling on a budget… or that she doesn’t want a backdrop with uplights cause it looks like toilet paper.

Our client will tell us what they need and want if we listen!


Propose Services That Work

In an over saturated market all vendors are compared like apples to apples. You’re red and the other guy is red. Popular education will tell you then you should show them how you’re the reddest.

But I completely disagree. You should show them how you’re the most fitting!

I mean you can go into any hardware store and stand against the crazy wall of screws and try to find the one screw you need. Trust me… this is not fun.

Use your proposals to explain to the client why you’re the screw that fits. We need to stop all the non-sense about upselling to the highest packages. We need to focus in on what the clients actually need…. propose that. And then romance the upsell out of them.

This means your proposal might look something like this:

Brady and Amy need this widget.

This widget includes XYZ and costs $$$.

You solved the problem!

Now you say. Imagine pairing this fine widget with these widget enhancers that will not only (insert attracting offer) but will create the (insert emotion) that I heard Amy and Brady say they wanted.

You solved the problem. They win! Then you showed them how they can get even more of the problem solving services you offer and how those services will help them feel the things they SAID they want to feel.



The “You Win” Language approach allows you to go from a wall full of screws to being the perfect match.

You win language speaks directly to your potential clients! You can categorize your content simply by talking about the problems you’re seeing and how your potential client feels about them. You can can their trust online before ever getting them into your office. Simply by telling them… with us “You Win!”

Learn how to determine your online voice by downloading this awesome guide. It’s a great way to determine what language will transcend to your ideal client! Grab it here!

Want to chat a little bit more about “You Win” language and how to incorporate it into the language of your wedding business? Get me on the horn!